Legend of Zelda: The Mysterious visitor
by littlebigmac
Summary: A very fun and slightly naughty fanfic, hope you enjoy!


"Hello"…The man heard this voice before waking up, wondering who it is. As he opens his eyes, he sees a woman looking straight down at him. "H-huh, where am I?" the man said looking back. "You're ok now" the woman said. "I saw you just lying on the ground, so I brought you in" said the woman. "Oh, thanks" the man said. "Where am I?" "You are in Hyrule, a very peaceful land." The woman said. The man looked around in confusion. "Oh, but where am I exactly?" the man replied. "Well, you're in Hyrule castle. I guess I should introduce myself. My name is Zelda." All of the sudden, the man tried to stand up out of the bed! "What are you doing?" the young girl asked. "You are princess Zelda, I have to show my respect!" The man shouted. Zelda helped him back on to the bed and said "Hey now, you're a human being, don't hurt yourself just to show me respect" the woman said. "O-ok…" They talked for bit, and as they did, the man started to notice something, how beautiful she was. He felt happy just being around her. They ended up talking for a bit more when she asked what his name was. "My name? It's Mike, Mike Hunt." He reaplied. "That's a cute name, hey I have an idea, let me show you around the castle!" She exclaimed. "But wait,I-" He was cut off as she pulled him out of the bed to begin showing him around the castle. It was quite a long day for the both of them, filled with lots of fun. First, she showed him around the castle, letting him see so many neat areas within it. Next, she took him horseback riding in her favorite open field. Then she brought him to a beach nearby the castle, where just ran around having fun whether it be in the sand or ocean. They stayed there for the remainder of the day. Eventually they were both tired, and decided to rest on the warm sand, under the setting sun. Mike was laying the shorts Zelda found him in. Zelda herself was wearing and a two piece, somewhat thin. "You know what?" Zelda thought out loud. "What?" Mike asked back. "Somebody once told me that the world was going to row me into different directions in my life. But today I think I've found the person in my life who will row me to happiness" Zelda said as she looked over at Mike. Mike blushed, and said nothing. All of the sudden, he found Zelda on top of him, her face right next to his. "W-wait! Zelda, what are yo-" Mike said before Zelda cut him off. "Hey, you talk a bit much." Zelda replied as she started to undo her bikini. "You said you wanted to show me respect earlier, now show it." Zelda said with a smirk on her face. She leaned in and kiss him, but then quickly came back up. "Oh, let's just dive right into it!" Zelda exclaimed as she checked herself. "YOU'VE MADE ME HAPPIER IN A SINGLE DAY THAN ANYONE ELSE HAS IN MY LIFE, NOW PLEASE TAKE ME! I DON'T CARE ANY MORE, ALL I WANT NOW IS YOU!" The lustful princess exclaimed loudly. Suddenly, Mike smirked. "It was charming to be with you." Mike softly said. Zelda slowly stopped, and got back up. "…N-no, it can't be" She thought to herself, standing up now. She looks at him again to see if her suspicions are true. She's shocked to find out that she's right, it was prince Charming all along. She quickly lunges at him, trying to lodge onions in his pretty boy anus. "IT'S NO USE!one" he yells. "TAKE THIS" he yells as he releases the fairy god navi, who then puts a layer restriction spell on Zelda. "It's all ogre now" the evil fairy remarks. Zelda can feel the layer being stripped away from her. "No, it's only ogre when *(HE)* says its ogre." She said. Just as she thought she would never see her beautiful layers again, Shrek crashes down from the sky, creating a huge explosion wiping out everything but the beach, and turning it into walffles for donkey. "Aye laddeh, I think they're compensating for something" Shrek says. Zelda smiles, realizing that her time will not be ogre yet. Shrek leaps out at Charming and launches him into the ocean, where he was massacred by whale sharks. "Dat bitch should've check himself before he Shreked himself" the mighty ogrelord said. He then pulls out a stick of dynaonion and stuffs it in Navi's mouth. The explosion is so great, navi is launched all the way to the sun where she gets incinerated. Shrek then restore Zeldas layers. Zelda goes back to the castle, satisfied from his onion flavored love. Before she enters the castle, she turns around, saying one thing. "Shrek is love, Shrek is life."


End file.
